what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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