Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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