Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
