all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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