So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
