I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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