it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
