this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
