scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize