It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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