is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
