Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
are you so shy because you have an std?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
well you can't waste a boner
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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