My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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