what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
