Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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