dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
