So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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