Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
