I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
