Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
