i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
