so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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