So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
