I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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