Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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