So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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