have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
