Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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