we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
