Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
