You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
