she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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