Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
