if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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