I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
