found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize