Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
