Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
