Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I want to fling myself into the sun
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
