My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
