Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
