remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
