So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
