Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
