Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize