So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I met the friendliest cop last night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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