Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
