where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize