Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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