If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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