It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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