I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
