I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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