i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
