You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
