P.S. I can't hear my feet
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
