How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
