you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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