he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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