Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
