I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize