ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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