I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
