also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
